


Eight Dildos

by mnwood



Series: When Harry Met Sally 'Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Anal Fisting, Blow Jobs, Bottom Jensen, Dildos, Dom/sub Undertones, Face-Sitting, Fisting, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, [stefon voice] this fic has everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-07 13:27:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11624490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mnwood/pseuds/mnwood
Summary: West falls in the Ackles' pool. Misha is really grateful to Jensen for jumping in and saving him.





	Eight Dildos

**Author's Note:**

> Please for the love of god check the tags before reading this

“I watched a few episodes of the first season recently, and I couldn’t get over how much higher your voice was.”

“Why the fuck did you watch the first season?”

“Um, because I realized I’d never seen it.”

Jensen immediately switches from completely confused to laughing his ass off. Misha just shrugs at him as he drinks his beer.

“This is a nice house,” Misha comments when Jensen is done laughing.

“Thanks, man.”

Danneel and Vicki come out the back door with West trailing a little bit behind them. They’re talking and laughing and don’t seem to notice Jensen and Misha sitting on the deck as they head for the pool.

“I mean, does your voice hurt as bad as mine?” Misha asks.

“Probably. Dee says I clear my throat a lot in my sleep.”

“Really? I’ve never noticed. I guess I’m a heavier sleeper than her.”

On impulse, Jensen reaches over and rubs Misha’s knee. “We, uh, think she’s pregnant.”

 _“What?”_ Misha yells, sloshing his beer as he sits up in his chair.

“Alright, calm down. We don’t know for sure.”

“What, did you go down on her and she smelled like pineapples?”

“Um, not pineapples, but—”

“Oh my god, I was kidding. You seriously figured out your wife is pregnant while eating her pussy?”

Before Jensen can even answer, Misha looks toward the pool and yells, “Danneel! Come over here and let me smell your vagina so I can figure out if you’re pregnant!”

“Jensen! You told him that?” Danneel yells back, an annoyed edge to her tone.

Vicki is cracking up next to her, hand resting on her own very pregnant belly.

And then, suddenly, Jensen is sprinting toward the pool and Misha looks around in a panic before seeing his son faceplant right into the water.

He takes off after Jensen, and next thing he knows they’re both underwater, looking at each other in a panic, West quickly sinking between them. Jensen gets to him first and carries him over to the edge, and luckily Vicki was smart enough to grab towels and the diaper bag instead of blindly jumping into the pool like the rest of them. Even Danneel is pulling herself out of the water, looking a little bit panicked.

Jensen passes a screaming West off to Vicki, who wraps him up tight and holds him close and takes him into the house without saying anything to anybody. Jensen hangs onto the edge of the pool, watching Vicki go until he can’t see her anymore. His head drops.

After a minute of silence, Jensen says, “I am so sorry, dude,” to Misha.

Misha is hanging onto the edge of the pool, too, with his face pressed to his forearms. He lets out a shaky sob. 

Jensen gives Danneel a look as he wades over to Misha and wraps his arm around his shoulders. Danneel pulls herself out of the pool and heads into the house, not even bothering to grab a towel to dry herself off.

"It's OK, Mish," Jensen soothes with a kiss to his friend's shoulder. "He's OK. He's OK, Mish."

Misha turns and buries his face in Jensen's chest. Jensen wraps his arms tightly around him and holds him for a minute.

"God, I'm pathetic," Misha mumbles with a forced laugh. He raises his head and looks at Jensen, his eyes red and puffy.

"Hey, no, you're not. That was really scary. I am so, so sorry." 

“Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault." Misha runs his hand along Jensen's cheek. "You saved my kid."

Misha's giving Jensen a soft, sad look, so Jensen leans in and kisses him gently on the lips. "C'mon, let's go check on him."

When they get out of the pool, Misha still seems a little out of it, so Jensen wraps a towel around him and holds him close to his side as they walk. He presses kisses to his hair and is surprised when Misha laughs.

"You're babying me," he says.

"Yeah."

Misha leans away from Jensen and studies his face. His demeanor changes as they walk into the guest bedroom.

They find Vicki near the bed, cooing at West as she puts new clothes on him. He’s not crying anymore but is babbling a little more than usual. 

“Thank you for saving my son, Jensen,” Vicki says without even turning toward them.

“Well, I’m sorry I had to.”

“It’s good to know we have friends who will take extreme measures to make sure our kids are safe,” Vicki continues. She puts West up against her shoulder and turns to them with a smile. “I’m gonna put him down for a nap, and I think I’ll take a nap, too.” She presses her free hand to her belly.

“You OK, Vick?” Misha asks.

She smiles sweetly at him. “Yeah, this baby’s just ready to go. I’m thinking I’ve got a week or two left, max.” She points at Misha. “You’ve got that look in your eye. Go, take your boy. West is fine.”

Before Jensen can ask what she’s talking about, Misha grabs his hand and walks out of the room. He drags him silently upstairs into the master bedroom and doesn’t look at him until the door is shut behind them. It's a jarring change of pace, but that's just kind of how things are with Misha. Especially after he's shown any kind of vulnerability, he has to take back control as soon as possible. Jensen used to think Misha didn't care about things like being strong or masculine, but he couldn't have been more wrong. He can make fun of Jensen all he wants for posturing, but in reality Misha is the king of posturing. God, Jensen missed him. 

“You saved my kid,” Misha says as he grabs Jensen by the waist and pulls him close. He kisses his jaw, his neck, back to his jaw. “You didn’t even hesitate.” He kisses his lips. “You were there before I even realized what was happening.”

Jensen’s hands slide around Misha’s lower back, his right hand squeezing his ass. It makes a stupid squishy noise from the water in his shorts. “Me caring about your kid makes you all hot and bothered?” he teases.

“Yeah, actually,” Misha admits easily before sealing their mouths together again.

“Mm—mm-hmm, OK,” Jensen hums as Misha leaps into his arms. He catches him behind the knees, carries him over to the bed and drops him onto it gracelessly. “Damn it,” he mumbles against Misha’s lips.

“What?”

“Um, we’re soaking wet.”

“Oh. Right.”

They look at each other for a second, then Misha shimmies out of his shorts and Jensen heads to the bathroom to get some towels. When he gets back, he finds Misha exactly where he left him except completely naked. He throws a towel at him and takes his own clothes off. Misha barely allows him to get back to the end of the bed before he’s kissing him again.

They make out for a little bit, Jensen awkwardly bent at the waist with his feet still on the floor while Misha keeps him in place with his legs hooked behind his butt and his arms wrapped around his neck.

From downstairs, Danneel shouts, “Jensen? Misha? Where are you?”

“Shut up, Dee! West and Vicki are sleeping!” Jensen jokingly shouts back.

Misha shakes with laughter.

Danneel doesn’t say anything else to them.

They kiss lazily for a little bit longer, the only sound in the room their lips moving against each other. It’s calm and comforting and feels right after being apart for so long.

“What are you thinking about?” Jensen asks with a smile, his face just inches above Misha’s.

“I’m sorry we stopped doing this.”

Jensen frowns.

Misha presses a reassuring hand to his cheek. “I was wrong. I should’ve told you I loved you, too. I should’ve gotten over myself.”

Jensen turns his head, eyes closed, and presses a kiss to the palm of Misha’s hand.

“Now,” Misha says seriously. “Let’s open that drawer of dildos Danneel accidentally told me about.”

Jensen’s face immediately changes to shocked horror. He slowly extricates himself from Misha’s hold and runs a nervous hand through his hair.

Misha does a backward shoulder roll across the bed and heads over to Jensen and Danneel’s closet. It takes him less than 30 seconds of rummaging to find the drawer he’s looking for.

“Holy shit, babe, don’t tell me you’ve used all of these,” Misha exclaims.

Jensen leans against the closet doorway, arms folded across his bare chest. “I’ve never used the two really big ones. Dee bought them sort of as a joke.”

“Oh god, he found the dildos, didn’t he?” Danneel asks exasperatedly as she joins them at the closet. She stands behind Jensen and wraps her arms around his waist as she continues, “Mish, you should fuck him with every single one of those.”

Jensen turns in her arms and gives her a skeptical look. "I see you're recovering well from the traumatic incident."

She shrugs at him. "I checked on Vicki, she made me feel better."

“Funny, I was thinking the exact same thing,” Misha says. "About fucking him, I mean." He turns around with armfuls of dildos and scoots past them back into the bedroom.

“Is it weird if I stay?” Danneel whispers to Jensen.

“Please, I insist on it,” Misha responds from where he’s organizing the dildos on the vanity by the bed. He’s still naked, which makes all of this that much more ridiculous.

Jensen hangs his head and runs a hand down his face. “Can we ever just, I don’t know, have regular, normal sex?”

“No,” Danneel and Misha answer in unison.

Danneel joins Misha at the vanity and signals for Jensen to get on the bed.

As Jensen gets settled, Danneel and Misha huddle together and giggle between whispers. Jensen’s heart flutters a bit in anticipation. He spreads out on the bed and privately hopes he gets tied up.

But when Misha walks over 30 seconds later, there are no binds in his hands. There’s actually nothing in his hands.

“Flip over,” he commands quietly.

He eagerly does as he’s told and resists the urge to put his own fingers in his ass just to get the ball rolling.

Misha runs his fingers lightly over Jensen’s ass and up his back as he grabs a pillow with his other hand. He fits the pillow right under Jensen’s stomach and tells him to get comfortable. He presses a kiss to Jensen’s brow as a second, smaller set of hands grabs his butt.

“It really is unfortunate that he has no ass,” Danneel says to Misha. “I hate you for pointing it out to me.”

“I’m _right_ here,” Jensen says.

“He could stand to put on some weight,” Misha replies. “Do some squats every now and then.”

Just as Jensen opens his mouth to protest, cold glass pushes against his entrance and he swallows his words. He knows this dildo well; it’s one of Danneel’s favorites. It’s skinny and long and bumpy, so it slides in easily but pulls out hard. Misha very slowly pushes in the first bulb, and Jensen rocks against the bed hoping for more.

“I can’t believe he can take this with no lube,” Misha comments quietly.

“Well, not the whole thing,” Danneel replies. “Here, let me.”

The dildo shifts a little bit and then is gently pulled out. No more than three seconds later, Danneel’s lubed-up fingers circle his hole, followed by the tip of her tongue. She works her tongue around before pushing both fingers in, pulsing them in and out in opposite directions so neither of them are in him at the same time. Once he’s opened up a bit more, she adds more lube and pushes two fingers all the way in.

“Jesus,” Misha breathes as he jacks himself, his eyes glued to Danneel’s face in Jensen’s ass.

“You like what you see, Mish?” Jensen asks smugly.

“Shut up,” Misha answers.

Less than a minute later, Danneel replaces her fingers and tongue with the glass dildo again. She pushes it more forcefully than Misha did, and soon enough Jensen is taking all seven inches of it. He can feel it deep inside him, the bulbs filling him up and catching on his walls. He’s so focused on the dildo that he’s surprised when Misha kisses him. His face is awkwardly pressed into the bed, so Misha has to angle himself weirdly in order to reach his lips. Misha is obviously so turned on that he doesn’t care, though. He thrusts his tongue almost violently into Jensen’s mouth, and Jensen pushes his hips down to get some friction on his aching cock. Of course, pushing down makes him clench, sending all kinds of pleasure signals to his ass.

And then the dildo is gone. Danneel pulls out it and wastes no time at all picking out a second one. It’s rubber, warmer than the glass dildo, but still not nearly as big as Jensen can take. Danneel slides it in easily, right up until the artificial balls bump up against his ass.

Meanwhile, Misha stops kissing Jensen and climbs onto the bed on his knees. He grabs his cock and angles it down toward Jensen’s face.

“You’re kidding, right?” Jensen asks.

“Just for a minute, please?”

Jensen’s never heard Misha sound so desperate in bed, so he takes pity on him and swallows his cock down. Unfortunately the angle prevents Jensen from getting more than a couple inches into his mouth, but Misha doesn’t seem to care. He’s spurting precome every couple of seconds and pulses in and out in a steady rhythm. Jensen is vaguely aware of a curved dildo made for vaginal penetration (that he’s used on Danneel more than a couple of times) getting shoved uncomfortably in his ass.

“That’s not for anal penetration,” Misha says to Danneel as he continues fucking Jensen’s mouth.

“He can take it. Jensen, baby, you can take it, right? You’re OK?”

Jensen pops off Misha’s cock and says, “Yeah.”

Before he can get his lips back where they belong, Misha is gone. He rejoins Danneel at the end of the bed and takes over moving the curved dildo inside of Jensen. He’s better at maneuvering it than Danneel, knowing exactly how to angle it so it hits his prostate over and over.

Danneel takes a seat on the edge of the bed and runs her hand absentmindedly up and down Jensen’s side as she watches Misha work. She’s still fully clothed, but her right hand eventually plunges down her shorts and stays there.

Misha uses a thick, 9-inch dildo next, moving it slowly in and out of Jensen until Jensen’s begging for more.

A vibrator follows, another glass dildo, then a short, fat buttplug right before Misha commands Jensen to turn over onto his back.

The buttplug shifts uncomfortably inside him as he repositions himself, but then once he’s settled it lights his insides on fire and makes him feel like he’s close. The only contact he’s had on his dick for the past 45 minutes is the sheets of the bed, which he now realizes is ridiculous. Nobody told him he _couldn’t_ touch his dick.

However, as he reaches down to take himself in hand, Misha swats his hand away and forcefully pulls out the buttplug.

He looks up at Misha with betrayal and annoyance, but then Danneel comes out of nowhere and sits on his face and he forgets about his neglected dick entirely.

“No, no, he hates that one,” Danneel says as she moves up and down over Jensen’s face.

Jensen licks a line from her perineum all the way up to her clit.

“Yeah, that one. That one,” Danneel continues. “It’s so big, we’ve never tried it.”

Misha lets out a small laugh, and a few seconds later a tip the size of a goddamn tennis ball pushes up against Jensen’s hole.

He stops licking Danneel in order to gasp and pull his legs up so Misha has easier access.

Lucky for him, Misha comes closer and hooks Jensen’s legs over his shoulders so that Jensen’s ass is slightly raised off the bed. The smooth, silicone dildo slides in about an inch and Jensen tries to focus his attention on Danneel so he doesn’t fucking explode from the pleasure-pain. He grasps her thighs hard and moves his tongue in a bruising rhythm around her lips.

“It’s OK, baby, I’ve got you,” Misha soothes as he slowly pushes the giant dildo in one more inch. “There are no ridges, you’re OK.”

“Are you always this nice to him?” Danneel asks.

Misha and Danneel both lean forward and kiss briefly on the lips.

“No,” Misha answers as he pushes the dildo in another two inches.

Jensen’s body moves up the bed of its own accord in an attempt to escape the intensity. He clenches around the dildo and pulls it in even more, finally feeling it press against his prostate. He pushes his tongue inside of Danneel and pulses it in and out, making her gasp and moan above him.

She and Misha start kissing again, a lot more intensely, and Misha thrusts the dildo in and out as if it’s his own cock inside Jensen. His hand nudges up against Jensen’s ass, and it’s almost better than when Misha’s balls do the same.

Jensen can feel Danneel close to coming, so he backs off a little bit to get her to calm down. She then shoves Misha away and folds herself over so she can suck Jensen’s dick.

Jensen closes his eyes and wills himself not to come immediately at the first press of Danneel’s lips around his tip. She swallows him down and circles her tongue around his shaft several times. It’s so good he almost forgets about the nine inches in his ass and the sweet-tasting pussy in his mouth.

Danneel comes first, and she’s so wet that Jensen’s pretty sure some of it actually lands on his face. He’d laugh, if he wasn’t pulled so fucking tight right now.

Danneel repositions herself so she’s sitting on his chest instead of his face, and Jensen’s able to look up at Misha and finds him focused on Danneel, his free hand in her hair directing her rhythm on Jensen’s cock. And fuck, if that’s not the hottest thing he’s ever seen. Misha’s such a fucking control freak.

Jensen moans embarrassingly loudly, which draws Misha’s attention to him. He smiles at him and winks.

And then the silicone dildo is gone and Jensen tries his best to clench his now empty ass.

“Misha—fuck, Mish,” Jensen complains. “You gotta—you have—do something.”

“Shh, shh,” Misha soothes.

Jensen pushes his hips down in hopes that Misha will put something else in his ass, and sure enough three long fingers push easily inside.

“Jesus, Jay, you’re open,” Misha marvels. “I could stick my whole...”

A fourth finger breaches his hole, then Misha teases him with his thumb, too.

“Oh my god, Misha. Misha, Mish, fuck, _Misha.”_

“What? What’s happening?” Danneel asks, popping right off Jensen’s cock and crawling out of his lap.

“He’s not open enough for me yet,” Misha says to Danneel.

“Yes! I am! I am, I can take it!”

“OK, calm down,” Danneel says in an annoyed voice.

Misha snorts back a laugh and removes his hand from Jensen’s ass.

Danneel pushes two fingers in before cursing loudly and shoving all five of her fingers in. “Jesus fucking Christ, what have we done.”

To Jensen, she says, “Flip back over onto your stomach, babe.”

He’s eager to obey, especially since Danneel took her hand out of his ass and he knows she’s not putting it back until he’s in a more accessible position. Fortunately for him, she’s impatient and as soon as his ass is in the air she presses her knuckles against his hole.

“Shit, I can’t do this,” she says seriously. “I need a hundred times more lube. And nail clippers. I need to clip my nails.”

Misha is now openly laughing. “Your nails are fine. But here.” He squeezes a bottle of lube onto her hand, but a lot of it lands directly on Jensen’s ass. “OK. Undo your fist.”

“But it’s called _fist—”_

“I know, hon, shh. Start with three. Yeah, just like before.”

“I’m open enough, guys, pick up the pace,” Jensen mumbles.

Danneel pushes her pinky in and moves all her fingers around easily. Jensen hardly feels full at all.

“Alright, now push your thumb in slowly. Yeah, put it in front of your other fingers. Uh-huh, like you’re bringing all of your fingers to a point.”

Danneel must be following the directions to a tee, because Jensen can feel exactly what Misha describes.

“You’re getting close,” Misha encourages. “Now, once you’re up to your wrist, ball your hand up with your thumb tucked under your fingers. Very carefully, though. Don’t move around too much.”

It takes another few minutes before Danneel is able to make a fist, but once she does Jensen thinks he might come untouched. It feels so good, so full, and he can feel it in every part of his body. He clings to the sheets and rubs his face against them, seeking friction and not caring how the hell he gets it.

Misha squeezes lube onto Danneel’s wrist right before she pushes in as far as her arm can go.

“This is fucking—this is—this—I can’t believe this,” she says between giggles. “You OK, Jens?”

“Fantastic,” he replies easily.

“I’m not coming out,” Danneel insists. “Sorry, Mish, you can do this some other time. I’m staying right here until he comes.”

Misha huffs a laugh. “I still think I’m too big for him anyway. I wouldn’t want to...hurt anything.”

Jensen groans at the idea of Misha’s beautiful, huge hand inside of him. He tries to reach down and grab his own cock, but then Misha’s _huge hand_ wraps around his shaft and jacks him.

Sweat beading on his brow and his entire body tightening up, Jensen thrusts down into Misha’s hand and then back up against Danneel’s arm. Danneel is cursing and moving her arm in strictly controlled thrusts, and Misha is as calm as ever jerking Jensen off like this is any old Tuesday. 

It doesn’t even feel good when Jensen comes. The buildup was too much, too intense, which means the orgasm was lackluster. He collapses against the bed and sighs in relief as Danneel slowly pulls out of him.

“Oh my god,” he says after a minute of collecting himself. “I’m gonna be doing kegels for a month.”

Danneel and Misha don’t respond.

Jensen doesn’t think much of it, but then Misha breathes out a “fuck,” and that makes Jensen curious enough to lift his head.

He finds them at the foot of the bed, Misha sitting up against the footboard while Danneel kneels between his legs, her mouth around his cock. He has a hand twisted in her hair, directing her where to go just like he did earlier.

A year ago, Jensen probably would’ve punched Misha in the face if he found him in this position.

Now, though.

He’s gotten better since they got back together.

Misha tips his head back and looks at Jensen upside down. “You’re not gonna kill me for this, are you?” he asks breathlessly, a smile on his face.

Jensen crawls his way to the edge of the bed and kisses his forehead. “I can’t believe this is how you repay me for saving your kid.”

Misha reaches up and cups his hand around the back of Jensen’s neck. “I figured the eight dildos and your wife’s fist were payment enough.”

**Author's Note:**

> As of right now, I have two more timestamps planned. I should be posting them over the next couple of weeks.


End file.
